Got root, don’t think I ever came across the b file everyone is talking about though.
Hint: The file I used is not nested 100 layers deep in some obscure subdirectory. Went back to my popular enum script results and it was in there, I simply missed it because it didn’t stand out to me. Googling the file path and name yielded 0 relevant results, thus missing from typical Linux boxes and an excellent candidate for a closer look based on hints earlier in this thread.